Wednesday, May 18, 2016

What it means to be DID on THIS day, my birthday.

SHORT & SWEET:

17 years ago I was pregnant with my second child (it was however my 6th pregnancy) which I knew was going to be a boy.

I was eating dinner one night with my then husband my Big Girl (Miss 23) who was then just 6. The same age as my current Miss 6.

Anyway I randomly started crying, as you do when pregnant. My husband asked me what was wrong.

We were renting a tiny dark bricked home back then, all completely exposed inside & out, and at night with a lamp on, & the glow from the TV, it made quite a cozy scene.

While looking around and taking in the picturesque quietness of the evening I had suddenly been granted a flash into the future. And it had made me cry.

It took me a while to pull myself together enough to be able to convey to my husband what was wrong.

I told him;

"I saw a time into the future where Lyssa (Miss 6) had grown up & left home & I was living with people I havent met yet. (Meaning the baby I was carrying and the ones presumably still to come after him). What if they don't LIKE me? I'll be alone, and Lyssa wont be with me..!"

And I started crying again.

My husband thought I was an idiot. No surprise we later divorced....

And yet, here I am 17 years later, my then husband is now just a 15 year old memory, all my friends from that time are no longer in my life; some of them have passed away....

Last night I realised I was living THAT moment.

I hadn't seen Miss 23 properly in 2 days because of her night shifts and my caring for the current Miss 6 post Op, and Miss 23 had already left for work again.

As I moved through the house seemingly invisible & inconsequential to everyone else talking and laughing together, their little in jokes they share but wont included me in no matter how hard I try to connect....

Mr 16 breezed past me quickly without a word or a glance even though he had not seen me all day...

I'm here right now, in that lonely future I saw, but back then I had no idea how it would come to pass, but just the glimpse of it had made me cry.

My little girl is grown & practically leading her own life (as it should be really), my mother, father & brother are gone. 

And I AM left alone in a house full of people who I HAVE now met.




And they don't like me.

Not today.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Repurpose Spoons to Garden Markers!

Short & Sweet!

Follow the link below to see how to make these awesome garden markers from repurposed spoons.



http://homes.ninemsn.com.au/2016/05/12/12/49/how-to-make-plant-markers-from-old-spoons







Sunday, May 15, 2016

What Sets Your Heart Free? Canvas 2016

My MIL is a wonderfully talented lady.


She tells me she loves me all the time even though she has only known me 12-13 years.

 

She has definitely  seen me during some of my worst moments and has never seen me during my prime except in pictures or through the telling of funny anecdotes.




She is an artist in her own right, yet she comes to me to be tutored; to expand her knowledge of craft projects & supplies.




It's a beautiful time that we enjoy together.




This visit to town she was determined to make a canvas in a style similar to mine.




The stamp was my suggestion, and so is the quote/scripture, as I've used it previously, but the colour scheme and direction the canvas took is 100% Linda Baker.


And it is gorgeous!!!




Daleth

"I have chosen the way of truth. I have set your ordinances before me.

I cling to your statutes, Yahweh. Don't let me be disappointed.

I run in the path of your commandments, for you have set my heart free!"

Psalm 119:30-32 

World English Bible

What It Means To Be DID On THIS Day; May 15, 2016

Short & sweet.

What it means to be DID on this very day in May....


1.  I'm trapped in a fat unhealthy body that reminds me of an albino Jabba the Hutt & there's nothing I can do about it.

                

2.  The buck stops with me, no matter what the 'buck' is. Everyone else has an excuse or a reason for why everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, ultimately falls on my shoulders.

3. There is no point asking for help.

4. I have to do everything myself. If it doesn't get done it's because I didn't do it.

           

5. If by some miracle someone does try to help me by doing something for me, it'll be wrong. Thats not me being picky. It WILL BE WRONG.

6. Because nobody around me listens to me about how I'd like things done. Noone here cares as much as I do about doing things right.

7.  As I pull up into my driveway I see a house & yard that should have had money spent on it, except my husband and children are obsessed with buying the latest consoles, the latest games, the latest gadets & technology that ultimately are just THINGS and are a waste of money. I'm drowning in plastic debt because of plastic THINGS.

                    


8. Somehow by being a go getter I've raised a lazy family/household. I thought you were supposed to lead by example???



9.  I'm not coping well with being trapped in a house full of people who dont like me.